First I want to say a big “thank you” for all the kind words and prayers after my recent Let Them See You Sweat post. I truly appreciate it. I’m still taking it day-by-day, but the great news is…
I was able to be there to support my wife and witness the birth of our 5th child, Tirzah Raelle.
She was born on our 12th wedding anniversary… what a great gift!
She was 7 lbs, 3 oz, and mother and baby are both doing great.
First, I have to brag on my wife and show you a couple pictures I took of her less than 24 hours before the birth…
As usual, my wife was amazing and was nothing short of inspirational. She was also very blessed this time around to only have to push once!
And here are some pics of Tirzah only 1 day old…
Many Eric’s Tips readers have now been with me (as subscribers) through the births of 3 of our 5 kids. Amazing.
In nearly six years of writing this blog, I don’t think I’ve had a single guest post. But this morning I came across a timely message from Perry Marshall, and thought it would be well worth sharing with you…
There’s no better day than Father’s day to publicly acknowledge:
Sometimes dads get the short end of the stick.
I remember when I was about 11 years old I bought a hilarious issue of MAD magazine. You know, MAD – the satire mag with the picture of Alfred E. Newman on the cover.
One particular article was mocking the media, and had this cartoon of the typical dad as he’s usually portrayed on TV:
A bumbling idiot guy is stooped down in the kitchen, peering into the oven with his hand on the temperature knob of the stove. And he’s saying, “Jeepers honey, I can’t seem to find channel 4 on the Teee-Veee.”
Yep…. the comedians give you a more accurate picture than the news does, most of the time.
Consistently, dads are portrayed on TV as stupid. They’re dumber than mom, dumber than their mistress, dumber than the mouthy teenage kids, dumber than the plumber.
My kids have “Berenstain Bears” books that we read at bedtime. In these books, Papa Bear usually says stupid things and Mama Bear usually corrects him.
Portraying husbands and dads as helpless fools is so common, most of us don’t even notice it anymore.
Or how about that old feminist slogan, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”?
What a thoroughly slanderous thing to say. I fail to see the humor.
Our culture freely and gleefully tears down men. It forges their greatest strengths and highest aspirations into weapons that are used against them.
And my job today, Father’s day in the United States, is to set the record straight.
Men are not fools nor are they pigs or idiots.
Millions of men labor long hours for their wives and families and make great sacrifices for their loved ones. They set aside their personal agendas every day at 6 or 7am and drive to work and take great pride in caring for their families. They come home after dark and do it all over again the next day.
Many a man is too busy providing for his family and attending to his responsibilities, to try to argue with some bitter magazine columnist or college professor who labels him as ‘unnecessary.’
The fact that he IS necessary, and that people DO depend on him in a very real way, is actually the source of his greatest pride. It’s inseparable from his identity: At his core, he understands himself as the #1 defender and provider of those whom he loves.
So why am I saying all this to you today?
Not to put down people who put down men; not to nurse a grudge; but rather to say that on Father’s day we need to take a minute and untangle some of the lies and hurtful things that are said about men.
Because 97% of the time, they’re not true.
These lies must be untangled so that the truth can be spoken and received:
If you are a man, a husband, a father, a provider, YOU are worthy of honor and today is the day the world honors you. Today I honor you for what you do, even though much of the time it may feel like a thankless job.
THANK YOU for doing what you do.
And also, whether you are a man or a woman, a grandpa or a teenager, there is probably some *other* man in your life that deserves an embrace or an email or a phone call or a text message – some small token of thanks and honor for being who he is and doing what he does.
It’s a day for all of us to honor each other for the ways that we serve.
Now if you are a man and an entrepreneur then you sometimes have TWO thankless jobs not one. Jobs which are often directly at odds with each other.
And… if you’re a *struggling* entrepreneur then you have a triple whammy: The challenges of the two jobs and the tension between the two… combined with injury to your pride because you have not been able to provide as well as you dearly dream of providing.
Not many people understand how deeply that moves you sometimes. It’s a private hurt, for the most part.
Please remember, it is a hurt that comes from the noblest of intentions and the highest of aspirations.
Sometimes men and entrepreneurs alike are judged by other people as just being selfish.
Sometimes our best efforts to give are misconstrued as attempts to take.
All men struggle with this. You and me both. You’re not alone.
Let me tell you a little story…
I’ve got this little group of friends at my church that sometimes gets together for the sole purpose of praying and… just listening.
Listening to what the Still Small Voice may have to say.
Waiting until something is heard, until Wisdom presents herself.
Sometimes those meetings are pretty quiet. Sometimes there are long stretches of silence. It’s a strange and special thing.
On one particular day I was seeking wisdom about this very question – what to do with this feeling that, sometimes, my own best efforts to give have been misconstrued by others as attempts to take.
I wait and listen for awhile and after some time goes by, the answer comes back: “People do that to Me all the time. They interpret My best efforts to give as attempts to take. This is an experience you and I both share, together.”
Wow. A Father and a son having empathy for each other. Sharing that mutual experience and bonding together, within that experience. How human that is, yet… how supernatural.
So yes, today I acknowledge with you that shared experience. I celebrate you and we all celebrate Father’s Day and give HONOR to dads. Dads who, even in all our imperfections, strive and sacrifice to give the very best to those we love.
Seize the Day.
Perry Marshall
About the Author:
Entrepreneur Magazine says: “Perry Marshall is the #1 author and world’s most-quoted consultant on Google Advertising. He has helped over 100,000 advertisers save literally billions of dollars in Adwords stupidity tax.” He is referenced across the Internet and by The Washington Post, USA Today, and the Chicago Tribune.
As always, you are welcome to leave your comments below.
I’ve decided to tell you about a difficult situation I’ve been experiencing lately, but I want to tie it into a quick lesson… after all, the main objective of this website is to provide you with Internet marketing tips.
Let’s start with a flashback to the 1980’s…
From what I gather, the phrase “never let them see you sweat” originated from a deodorant commercial in 1984. While I may have been exposed to it as a 5-year old during commercial breaks between Saturday morning cartoons, I certainly have no recollection of it.
I do, however, remember hearing this phrase spoken from the stage at an Internet marketing seminar several years ago. Apparently after serving its duty as a deodorant slogan, “never let them see you sweat” became a business principle of sorts.
The idea is that you should never let your ________(fill in the blank) see you “sweat”, because it is basically a sign of weakness. This includes customers, prospects, fans, followers, competitors, subordinates, and bosses… just to name a few.
In other words, you don’t want to let any of those people see your weak side, because it will affect their opinion of you.
The speaker at the Internet marketing seminar was teaching that you should never appear to be frazzled or portray a lack of confidence in the projection of your image to your online prospects and subscribers. Instead, you should always appear to “have it all together”.
There are times when this makes sense. Anyone in a leadership role (whether it be a parent, T-ball coach, or President of the United States) must instill confidence in the minds of those he or she is leading. To this end, there are times that it is appropriate to hide your emotions and appear to have it all together.
I would even go so far as to say there are situations in which you should never let them see you sweat. For example, if you’re in a war, you shouldn’t let your enemy see you sweat. Revealing a weakness could mean instant death.
If you ever have to hire a lawyer, you probably don’t want one who sweats profusely and exudes a lack of confidence in the courtroom.
I’m also aware that marketing can be likened to war, but I propose that the concept of “hiding your sweat” is overrated as it pertains to business.
Things to consider when hiding your sweat…
First, there’s an inherent problem with never showing weakness. The problem is that we’re human. We have weaknesses.
To confess weakness is to accept that you are human. This can have a positive effect, because humans can relate to other humans. As a marketer, this can be advantageous in gaining trust and portraying authenticity.
I will admit that revealing weaknesses can also have a negative effect upon a business. I remember a few times in recent years that the stock of the Apple company plunged as a result of negative news about Steve Jobs’ health. Last month Apple lost $10 billion of market capitalization in 5 minutes, possibly due to a health rumor.
Those are serious consequences, but publicly traded companies have an obligation to their shareholders to reveal certain “weaknesses”. To avoid doing so could be unethical at best, criminal at worst. Therefore, revealing a weakness can actually be a sign of integrity.
Second, it’s a myth that showing emotion (ie. letting them see you sweat) is always a sign of weakness. While much of our society does believe this myth (and unfortunately this may result in negative consequences for leaders who show emotions publicly), there are plenty of examples of leaders who have dispelled it.
I watch very little TV, but last week I turned it on and caught the second half of an episode of Undercover Boss. This episode featured Sheldon Yellen, the CEO of Belfor– a huge international company. Throughout his undercover experience, some of his own weaknesses were revealed (inability to use power tools, disconnection from his own employees), and his emotions ran wild… this guy cried like a baby on national TV!
While this may have been interpreted by some as a sign of weakness, I’d be willing to bet that his display of authenticity did more to instill confidence in his employees than any motivational speech he could have possibly delivered. It appeared that his employees loved him more for it, and were more committed to the company as a result.
This goes along with what I wrote earlier this year about authenticity. It’s no longer enough to say you’re real. You have to BE real.
So next time you’re faced with concealing a weakness versus showing your humanity, keep these ideas in mind and remember that it may or may not be best to hide your sweat.
OK, that’s the end of today’s lesson…
In case you hadn’t perceived it already; I wrote the above article as a way of processing my own thoughts, and justifying my decision to share my own weakness with you.
The reason I haven’t written much lately, and haven’t created any new lessons in the past few months is because I haven’t had the energy to do it.
I’ve been experiencing what is probably best described as Adrenal Fatigue. In case you’re curious about it, there is a very good article explaining it here: http://www.lammd.com/articles/adrenal_fatigue.asp
I’ve had several symptoms, including a severe lack of energy. Those of you who know me, know that I’ve enjoyed an active lifestyle which included frequent exercise, fishing, windsurfing, playing with my kids, etc. Lately, I’ve only had a few hours of workable energy per day, and it’s barely been enough to take care of myself and keep up with email, let alone do the stuff I enjoy.
In my case, I believe this condition is most likely the result of many years of poor sleep habits, constant blood sugar spikes, and internalizing my stress and anxiety.
Various medical tests showed that my adrenals simply aren’t doing what they’re supposed to do… resulting in various chemical imbalances in my body. For example, I’m not producing much cortisol, which has several physical ramifications. To aggravate the situation, my adrenals are compensating by producing too much epinephrine (adrenaline), which results in a lot of anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms.
I’m following what I believe is a good treatment plan, and I expect to make a full recovery!
Of course it’s been tough in the mean time. My wife is expecting our 5th child any day now, and I’ve had to grapple with the question of how am I going to help and support her like I did at the birth of our other four kids?
So you can see why I’ve put business stuff on the backburner. By the way, other than neglecting this website, my business is just fine, and I think it would run for many years with minimal input on my part. That’s one of the benefits of building the type of business that I teach in my lessons!
(Note: I do not anticipate my coaching club being negatively impacted during my recovery. Paul and Jeff already handle most of the time-consuming elements of it, and in any case that I’m unable to be on a coaching call, they’ll be there.)
OK, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…
I want to convey that I know life is hard for EVERYONE. Your pain is probably worse than mine, and it’s a part of our human experience.
I’ve had friends and relatives die in the time that I’ve been writing tips on this website.
I’ve also had subscribers die, and I’d be willing to bet that not a day goes by without some of my subscribers experiencing a tragedy of some sort. With over 60,000 subscribers around the world, it’s pretty much a given.
I also know fellow Internet marketers who have been through, or are currently experiencing MUCH more difficult circumstances than I am. Some of them are battling cancer, chronic diseases, and some have already died.
So this is NOT about me complaining. It’s also not about seeking sympathy. Prayers maybe, but not sympathy. I’m thankful for all that I’ve been given, and I KNOW that I am indeed blessed.
This post is about me being a little more real with you. I say a “little more”, because there are certainly other things that I haven’t shared with you about my life.
In the past couple years, I’ve been compelled to be “more real” when it comes to my public life. Perhaps this is a step in that direction.
Showing my sweat to keep myself humble?
I’ve probably participated in our culture’s collective move toward Internet-enabled narcissism more than I would like to admit.
The phenomenon of online narcissism is well documented, and you’ll see it everywhere if you look for it. People use their blogs, Facebook accounts, twitter accounts, and other public-facing avenues of communication to control their image. They provide only the information (status updates, pictures, etc) that they believe will best conform their image to the way that they want it to be seen.
Went on a cool vacation? Post it. Had a great dinner? Post it. Hung out with a celebrity? Post it. Got angry with your child or spouse, lost your temper, and broke something? No one needs to know.
I despise it, and yet I’ve been a purveyor of it. In one respect I’ve even taught it.
So yes, this is me keeping myself humble. Believe me, I’d much rather be known as the energetic windsurfing family man, than the tired Internet marketer who burned out his adrenal glands.
I also had one more ulterior motive for sharing this with you. I knew it would give me an excuse to share my faith with you too.
OK, this is where I’m gonna hijack this conversation and get “religious” on you…
No, I’m not turning this into a religious website. Based on the demographics, I’m aware that I have thousands of subscribers who are Muslim, Hindu, and no-doubt countless other faiths represented. I’m not here to force my convictions upon you, and I never will.
But I didn’t want to share my pain with you, unless I also shared my hope with you. In fact, it wouldn’t be right, because it would be a totally incomplete picture.
I believe that there is a spiritual realm that supersedes the physical world as we know it.
In spite of how I feel, I’m actually healthy and strong. In spite of what our society says, perception is not reality. In spite of what my doctor’s reports say, there is a greater truth to be found.
Of course many religions share this sentiment, as do believers in the Law of Attraction, which has become so popular in the Internet marketing world. But here’s where I part ways with those folks…
You might think I’m crazy, but I believe that approximately 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ (the actual son of God) came to earth, died on a cross, and came back to life again. That’s reality. And if that’s true, then the Bible is totally validated, and it’s true too.
The ramifications are huge. The Bible says that the same power that raised Jesus from death is available to me, and in fact is already inside of me (Romans 8:11)! While it is controversial even among Christianity, I believe the most accurate interpretation of the Bible proves that Christ’s atonement included healing for sickness.
I’ve seen first-hand that God still heals people today. In our church we see people healed every week. Some are healed from small things, and some are healed from big things like cancer and heart disease. We’ve seen numerous verifiable x-rays and doctor’s reports which have confirmed miraculous healings.
I share this to let you know that not only has my healing been paid for by Christ; yours has too.
The following is a song called “Name of Jesus”, which is on a music album by my sister-in-law that I executive produced a few years ago. To make the video I used scenes from The Passion of The Christ. So if you’re offended by the blood of Jesus, don’t watch…
This song has been inspirational to me lately, and I hope it is for you too.
As always, you are welcome to leave your comments below.
Sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. In fact it’s been well over a month since I sent out a broadcast email to Eric’s Tips subscribers, and a few months since I’ve posted a video lesson– if you’re a subscriber you’ll know that’s uncharacteristic of me.
Yesterday I received an email from a friend asking if I was OK. So in case you were curious too; I am mostly OK, and I’ll try to post an update in the near future with a bit more info about what I’ve been up to (or not) lately
Today I’m pleased to announce a new coaching club that I’m launching, along with my partners Jeff Wellman and Paul Counts.
Introducing the Real Coaching Club…
It’s no exaggeration to say that people have been asking me for coaching for years. And for years I’ve refrained from offering coaching, for a few reasons.
For one, I have a successful online business, and make enough money already. To be a good steward of my time, I’d have to charge a lot of money for it.
Then, even if I charged a high price for my time, I still wouldn’t be able to allocate much time to the coaching. With a wife, 4 kids (5 soon), and other God-given ambitions in life, there just isn’t any “extra” time.
I considered doing what I’ve seen other successful marketers do– outsource the coaching.
In theory, it’s the perfect solution. I’m a big believer in outsourcing, and I think most elements of an online business can and should be outsourced.
But I just couldn’t do it in this situation. As a customer of many marketing-related products, I’ve been solicited to join coaching programs in the past.
I’ve received phone calls from so-called coaches, who used high-pressure sales tactics in an effort to get me to join. The prices seemed high, ranging from thousands of dollars all the way into the 5-figure zone. It seemed clear to me that these “coaches” were much more interested in getting my money, then they were in helping me make money.
As a successful marketer and product vendor, I’ve also been solicited by the coaching companies who want me to integrate their services into my business. It’s an attractive offer. All I would have to do is give them my customer lists, and they do all the work and send me a check for 40% of what they bring in!
They position it as a value-added service for my customers. It’s also private label, which means the coaches would appear to be my personal representatives. On paper, it’s a great deal. But I’ve not been willing to stake my reputation on any of the coaching companies that I’ve encountered.
I’m not willing to let them use their high pressure tactics on my customers, and charge exorbitant prices on my behalf.
A better solution would probably be to hire my own in-house coaches and personally train them. I’m not really interested in doing that, but even if I did… it brings up yet another sticking point:
Who would you rather be coached by…
A) Someone who has merely been trained to be a coach and makes an hourly wage for their coaching?
B) Someone who has successfully achieved what you are trying to achieve (and knows how to teach/coach it)?
It’s important to note here that we’re talking about building a profitable online business, which is a fairly specialized endeavor. There are some types of coaching in which this type of specialized knowledge is not needed.
For example, you might gain a lot of benefit from the motivation and accountability of a “life coach”. But no amount of motivation and accountability will result in a profitable online business if you don’t know how to build one.
So if you want to be coached in your effort to build a successful online business, I recommend being coached by someone who has built a successful online business.
Finally, I’ve found an ideal solution.
After partnering with Jeff and Paul on a recent product launch, the three of us came to the conclusion that we could utilize our partnership to create a group coaching program for our customers.
Since it’s group coaching (not one-on-one), we can leverage our own time to help more people simultaneously. And since there are three of us sharing the responsibilities, we can create a sustainable program in which we are personally doing the coaching.
Unlike outsourced coaches (who might not have your best interest at heart), and unlike in-house coaches (who may lack specialized knowledge), Paul and Jeff are both successful Internet marketers and excellent teachers who care about your success. I am 100% confident about putting my customers into their hands.
Paul and Jeff are known in this industry for being marketers with integrity, and I feel that they are a natural extension of my own values.
Likewise, the methods they teach and coach are an extension of the things I teach. This is the “official” coaching program of Eric’s Tips.
By the way, the Real Coaching Club is more than just a coaching program. It’s also a community, where you can network with like-minded people, and help each other along the way to reaching your financial goals.
Right now we’re offering a special one-month trial, so you can try our coaching club for only $17, with a risk-free money-back guarantee. If you want to save yourself some time and sign up without watching the 20-minute video on the page above, just click here to sign up.
Thanks for checking it out, and I hope to see you on our next coaching webinar.
As always, you are welcome to leave your questions and comments below.
Sorry I haven’t posted anything in awhile. As many of you know, I was really busy earlier this year with 3 trips to the east coast, and product launches scattered amidst them.
Beyond that, I’ve been working behind the scenes on a new coaching program along with my friends Paul Counts and Jeff Wellman. People have been asking me for a coaching program for years, and it’s finally going to happen (look for it within the next couple weeks).
Lately I’ve been taking some time to just be creative. It’s important for your business–and for your LIFE–to regularly take time to do something OTHER than business. Something that will allow you to completely forget about your business. My favorite activities for this include fishing, windsurfing, and creating art.
Here are a few of the “creative” things I’ve done in recent weeks…
A painting (36″x48″ acrylic on canvas) of the scenery here where I live…
Easter is this Sunday, and I made an Easter-themed sculpture made from things found around my yard. Old wood to symbolize the cross, barbed wire to symbolize the crown of thorns, a stone representing the grave. The barbed wire and stone also symbolize sin entangling a hardened heart, which can only be made new through Christ…
And I made a mash-up music video for a song that my younger brother recently wrote and recorded. My very long-time subscribers may remember his story, about how he was paralyzed in a car accident on his way home from college in 2004. I hope you find it to be an INSPIRING song and video, which features paralytics doing cool things…
Share this video:
If you liked the No More Wheelchairs video, please consider sharing it using the buttons above (They will post a link which leads directly to the YouTube video).
As always, you are welcome to leave your comments below. Have a great day!
