In nearly six years of writing this blog, I don’t think I’ve had a single guest post. But this morning I came across a timely message from Perry Marshall, and thought it would be well worth sharing with you…
There’s no better day than Father’s day to publicly acknowledge:
Sometimes dads get the short end of the stick.
I remember when I was about 11 years old I bought a hilarious issue of MAD magazine. You know, MAD – the satire mag with the picture of Alfred E. Newman on the cover.
One particular article was mocking the media, and had this cartoon of the typical dad as he’s usually portrayed on TV:
A bumbling idiot guy is stooped down in the kitchen, peering into the oven with his hand on the temperature knob of the stove. And he’s saying, “Jeepers honey, I can’t seem to find channel 4 on the Teee-Veee.”
Yep…. the comedians give you a more accurate picture than the news does, most of the time.
Consistently, dads are portrayed on TV as stupid. They’re dumber than mom, dumber than their mistress, dumber than the mouthy teenage kids, dumber than the plumber.
My kids have “Berenstain Bears” books that we read at bedtime. In these books, Papa Bear usually says stupid things and Mama Bear usually corrects him.
Portraying husbands and dads as helpless fools is so common, most of us don’t even notice it anymore.
Or how about that old feminist slogan, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”?
What a thoroughly slanderous thing to say. I fail to see the humor.
Our culture freely and gleefully tears down men. It forges their greatest strengths and highest aspirations into weapons that are used against them.
And my job today, Father’s day in the United States, is to set the record straight.
Men are not fools nor are they pigs or idiots.
Millions of men labor long hours for their wives and families and make great sacrifices for their loved ones. They set aside their personal agendas every day at 6 or 7am and drive to work and take great pride in caring for their families. They come home after dark and do it all over again the next day.
Many a man is too busy providing for his family and attending to his responsibilities, to try to argue with some bitter magazine columnist or college professor who labels him as ‘unnecessary.’
The fact that he IS necessary, and that people DO depend on him in a very real way, is actually the source of his greatest pride. It’s inseparable from his identity: At his core, he understands himself as the #1 defender and provider of those whom he loves.
So why am I saying all this to you today?
Not to put down people who put down men; not to nurse a grudge; but rather to say that on Father’s day we need to take a minute and untangle some of the lies and hurtful things that are said about men.
Because 97% of the time, they’re not true.
These lies must be untangled so that the truth can be spoken and received:
If you are a man, a husband, a father, a provider, YOU are worthy of honor and today is the day the world honors you. Today I honor you for what you do, even though much of the time it may feel like a thankless job.
THANK YOU for doing what you do.
And also, whether you are a man or a woman, a grandpa or a teenager, there is probably some *other* man in your life that deserves an embrace or an email or a phone call or a text message – some small token of thanks and honor for being who he is and doing what he does.
It’s a day for all of us to honor each other for the ways that we serve.
Now if you are a man and an entrepreneur then you sometimes have TWO thankless jobs not one. Jobs which are often directly at odds with each other.
And… if you’re a *struggling* entrepreneur then you have a triple whammy: The challenges of the two jobs and the tension between the two… combined with injury to your pride because you have not been able to provide as well as you dearly dream of providing.
Not many people understand how deeply that moves you sometimes. It’s a private hurt, for the most part.
Please remember, it is a hurt that comes from the noblest of intentions and the highest of aspirations.
Sometimes men and entrepreneurs alike are judged by other people as just being selfish.
Sometimes our best efforts to give are misconstrued as attempts to take.
All men struggle with this. You and me both. You’re not alone.
Let me tell you a little story…
I’ve got this little group of friends at my church that sometimes gets together for the sole purpose of praying and… just listening.
Listening to what the Still Small Voice may have to say.
Waiting until something is heard, until Wisdom presents herself.
Sometimes those meetings are pretty quiet. Sometimes there are long stretches of silence. It’s a strange and special thing.
On one particular day I was seeking wisdom about this very question – what to do with this feeling that, sometimes, my own best efforts to give have been misconstrued by others as attempts to take.
I wait and listen for awhile and after some time goes by, the answer comes back: “People do that to Me all the time. They interpret My best efforts to give as attempts to take. This is an experience you and I both share, together.”
Wow. A Father and a son having empathy for each other. Sharing that mutual experience and bonding together, within that experience. How human that is, yet… how supernatural.
So yes, today I acknowledge with you that shared experience. I celebrate you and we all celebrate Father’s Day and give HONOR to dads. Dads who, even in all our imperfections, strive and sacrifice to give the very best to those we love.
Seize the Day.
– Perry Marshall
As always, you are welcome to leave your comments below.
Have a great day!
Eric
It would be best if you did. 🙂
Hi Eric,
Thanks for this article.Its a special occasion
to all fathers & all men alike.
Father’s Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure. Stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, and adult male friends are all honored on Father’s Day.
Father’s Day History
Father’s Day is celebrated on 3rd Sunday in June. The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father’s Day while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909. Having been raised by her father, Henry Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora’s father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June 1910.
Happy Father’s Day to all
Hello Eric and Perry,
As a proud feminist, I agree with much of what you said. A society that demeans any gender or group of people, especially systematically, is not healthy.
However, along these same lines, I disagree that the feminist movement is mostly responsible for demeaning men through the entertainment media. If you think back to movies and radio/TV of the 1940s and ’50s, women were rarely portrayed as anything but naive airheads who needed a “Prince Charming” to complete them. Yikes! I understand your pain now that the tables have turned in pop sitcom culture.
I completely agree that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bike. Vice-versa for a man “needing” a woman. In my experience, a woman who “needs” a man is often a gold digger or somewhat insecure. However, a truly liberated woman is already healthy and complete and chooses to take a husband as a partner: not as a rescuer or an ATM machine or as a status symbol (think any of the “Housewives” shows). Many of my friends and I chose to marry our best friends. “Taking care of” our spouses is reciprocal.
Liberation and feminism for me is about being able to bring my full capability to any situation, relationships included. For many women, this involves getting out of a millennia-old gender stereotype box. It’s certainly not about demeaning any other group or gender. Granted, the feminist movement has been fueled in part by anger, frustration and a desire for revenge — what movement hasn’t? However, in its higher form, feminism is about justice, fairness and the pursuit of happiness for all (think of men in non-traditional roles). The ~50-year-old (since the ’60s?) trend of “stupid guy” entertainment actually demeans us all. I certainly would not have married a pig or an idiot; nor do I have one for a son.
That said, I agree with most of your post. We took this day to honor my wonderful husband for the amazing man he is and to recognize all he does for us. We wished every man we met “Happy Father’s Day!” Dads, father figures, and great guys in general more than deserve this day of love and gratitude especially for them. Happy Father’s Day to you.
What your failing to understand is that IS exactly what the Socialist Agenda is all about and they have successfully been putting their agenda in place since the 1930’s. It’s awful to see how Americans have just fallen right into place in accepting and not speaking OUT against their goals…It started by getting God out of school…and claiming separation of church and state…Since America was founded utilizing our creators principles…how did we let that happen? Then came tearing the American family apart…changing from patriarchal to matriarchal and promoting feminism and making women rebel…how did we let that happen? It has now proven effective when you just glance at the divorce rate…how did we let that happen? Then foisting on us that bi-sexuals are OK…against our knowledge of what God says about that…how did we let that happen? Now the dumbing down of our children, who do not even get the true history of this country, most have no knowledge that we started as a republic and we are soveriegns on the land…how did we let that happen? AND how many of you know their agenda is getting them (Your Kids) as young as possible and the current Exec of Education is suggesting as infants…are we going to let that happen?
If you do not understand the Social Agenda…read the book “The Naked Communist” as you need to Learn how Socialism Destroys Democracy (and our forefathers warned us about democracy…that’s why we are guaranteed a Republicin the constitution…and for those not paying attention…we lost it almost a century ago) and How Socialism & Communism same goal. When you get that…you won’t be whining “dads get the short end of the stick” because you WILL see that MEN conspired to put YOU there and you either accept or reject THEM.
Rigt now, I see men as pretty wimpy because they have NOT spoken out on the agenda that has been forced on their/OUR countries plate!
This is definitely NOT the land of our forefathers anymore as itseems NO man is fit today to wear their shoes! (at least not in my eyes).
Thanks Eric that was great. I Wish every true man could have the chance to read that or at least hear it. Happy Fathers Day to all us fathers out there.
Dear Eric,
After I’ve read the articles post by Mr. Perry Marshall in your Blog site, I can help but remember my Dad who is already deceased. Yes, for most of the time it seems those advertisement in TV and Radio, write ups on magazines and newspaper and sometimes on books portrays man idiots, pigs and trash and I could readily say yes its true (even my own mother portrays my Dad as a Satan in disguised).
The time come I also became a father to three children but I now realized those comments whether in print up or in media were not all true. I noticed that those remarks were made because maybe of the sad experience that they themselves experienced in real life. As a Christian I do believe that a real Father must be the provider and comforter to his family and a father to ONLY ONE FAMILY. Yes, there are still those who call themselves father but only in biological essence. I promise to myself that I will never be like them (IDIOTS, BASTARDS, PIGS etc) in any way, in thought and in deeds. I never ask my family to give thanks to me nor to acknowledge everything I had done to them. For me, it is suffice to see my children them grow in faith and in good deeds, after all, no one will live forever in this world. I do hope through your Web Site and other Social network men should be regarded as a real human being not as bastard or idiots, after all, men and women are created equal. If there are bad men there are also bad women isn’t it Eric? But I am not telling things that men are superior in every way and in every thing, I am telling it that men are created equally with women. So if you want to be respected, respect others. If you want to be loved, loved your yourselves first and your family before others. Happy Father’s Day Eric and to all good the Father in this world. May the number of good men grow fruitfully. Good day Eric.
Joselito Uy Mendoza
Cauayan City, Isabela, Philippines
Eric,
I love this post. Thank you for brining this information up. I, for one, very much appreciate men. They are often misunderstood by us women, cuz we think differently. The more I am learning about men, the more I appreciate them.
Don’t we all just love Fathers Day.Great post Eric.
Dear Eric,
Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, we are equal, is just that people needed to understand their own self as to live like a human’s being otherwise they are worst than the all animals that you had mentioned.
Nobody is to call themselves to a pig..etc or an idiot…….but they do behave like once…WHY???
People, living without principles in life and appropriate knowledge of the ways we needed to know as how life is, to be responsible towards others…then, people could managed them well.
Eric,
Thanks for this timely piece. A male fellow church member and myself was just talking about this topic after church. It seems that mothers are esteemed on “Mothers Day” and fathers are belittled from the pulpit on “Fathers Day.” To me this is one of the contributing factors as to why it is so difficult for me to regain the leadership God has for men. We must continue to pray and ask God for his will to be done concerning a return to Male headship/Leadership of our families.
Dave Smith
Middletwon, Pa
Thanks Eric, and thnaks Perry for this very thoughtful post. You have said it all, fathers are indispensable!
Everybody should read “If Men Have All The Power How Come Women Make The Rules?” by Jack Kammer. You can download it free, from the author’s site here; http://www.rulymob.com/
Also, please consider the children when you make any statement about ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ especially if you don’t like him, or her any more – you are making a lasting impression on an impressionable mind that will colour their judgement from that day forward – possibly for the rest of their lives.
Please check this site out also; http://www.crnjapan.net/The_Japan_Childrens_Rights_Network/res-abu.html
Things happen around the world that you will wish you didn’t know about, but children and their parents have to try to cope and it doesn’t help when society automatically assumes one gender to be innocent, due to convention. Men and women can do wonderful things, or terrible things and it is not the specific domain of either.
We have Mr. Cameron in the U.K. telling everyone in relation to Father’s Day ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13831926 ) that “runaway dads” should be “stigmatised” in the same way as drink-drivers.
Anyone with half a brain knows that he is referring to the ones who don’t care, but the truth is that the public don’t think – society does not think. Slightly out-of-context, but I think perfectly applicable is a line by Bill Bonner; “Mass man is not a thinker. He is a reactor.” If a supposedly world-class politicians can make stupid, thoughtless remarks like that, it is one more nail in the coffin for the “Bad Dad”.
Well done for standing up on this topic Eric, more people need to speak out.
Great post by Perry Marshall and thanks for sharing it. These 2 points hit very close to home:
1. Sometimes men and entrepreneurs alike are judged by other people as just being selfish.
2. Sometimes our best efforts to give are misconstrued as attempts to take.
I have felt this guilt for YEARS. And I thought it was just me. I thought it because I didn’t know how to balance things. Of course, certain people close to me made sure this point was hammered home.
But the article gives me a small sense of relief knowing that I’m not just some old selfish s.o.b. – well, maybe I am! 😉
Always enjoy anything by Perry Marshall.
Yeah , what he said.
A Godly Father equates to a Godly wife that equates to a committed family which is one reason any society falters eventually when it is rejected. That is the reason we celebrate Fathers day and Mothers day. Wish I had mine back long enough to fish with again.
Wonderful article, Eric.
I’ve always hated the way TV has portrayed husbands and fathers.
so glad you shared it with us.
That’s some touching story, I feel for you. Don’t fret about it, your daughter may wise up someday and appreciate everything you’ve been doing. It’s just that now, she’s not doing the thinking, mum is. Still, it’s a painful thing when you don’t feel appreciated despite your efforts.
Take heart senior, I wish you father’s day.
Eric,
Being a woman of 62 yrs. young and devoted to Jesus, I have heard much about this subject during my lifetime. When I hear women/media/anybody say anything negative about our men, I cringe. They need nurturing, edifying and most of all our respect. Even though my earthly daddy had his issues, I still loved him. LOVE is the answer. Unconditional Love is the best. We all fall short of the Glory of God. We are to love others as we want to be loved. That’s how it goes. Hallelujah!!
Modern people are spoiled and protected from the dangers of the real world. The real world is rough and dangerous and it was men with the help of women that built the protections we enjoy today. Take your women and men and children and go on a real wilderness experience and discover the truth that will change your life. If you survive you will love each other and life more than you can imagine.
It may look like that on the surface, but these writers are basically giving the viewing public what they want to watch, which keeps advertisers happy (because people will watch and buy), which keeps these writers employed, so they can provide for their families. Quite a Catch-22, isn’t it?
Well said. Bravo!
Our forefathers wanted separation of church and state so that no one was forced to worship in a state-mandated religion (like in England), and I’m pretty sure the constitution was written before the 1930’s. Oh yeah, and you need to look up the definition of “Republic”. Just sayin’…
yea I totally agree…
Yes the stupid media is filled with nonesense nowadays and people are actually begining to believe that nonesense.
HAPPY FARTHERS DAY!!!!!
I know am late but still…….:)
Thanks Eric, This was great and has needed to be said for a long time. Would It be alright for me to make a copy. Thanks again
Sure, Perry allows it to be republished as long as you keep the author bio with the links.
I have noticed that the constant portrayal on television of men being stupid is beginning to effect individual men’s self image. I meet increasing numbers of men who really do believe that men are unnecessary and as a consequence have low self esteem.
Yes, I understand the separation of church and state…but this country WAS founded on God’s principles and the Articles of Confederation, our bill of rights and the Declaration of Independence ALL take notice of that. The forefathers certainly didn’t want to take GOD out of ur country…and that is what has happened!
I don’t get your poi8nt about looking at the definition of Republic: A state in which supreme power is held by the people …The definition of a Republic is: a constitutionally limited government of the representative type, created by a written Constitution–adopted by the people
Does anyone feel like they have “supreme power” today? We are called terrorists and thugs in the land we were born on! Does anyone believe “the” elected representatives believe we have ANY power? And how are we enjoying that “limited government”? NOT!
I love you baby, i believe my son will marry her!
Craig – you are so right. When you get to Heaven and stand before our Lord, hearing “well done, good and faithful servant” is the most important thing.
May God bless you and your father.
You are blessed to have had a wonderful father and to have such a husband. I’d like to think that men like them are the norm, but I’ve worked at the VA Hospital for over 34 years and know better.
It’s good that you are grateful for these men. They are few and far between, unfortunately.
God created us to need each other. It was his intention that man and woman stay together as helpmates. That is not to say that we should rely completely on each other, but that we should complement each other.
Yes! Hallelujah!
Here’s an idea: Turn off the t.v. 🙂
“Women are the niggers of today”. John Lennon said that in the 70’s and it’s still true today. Men have, by far, a huge “leg up” on women in this capitalistic society. It’s a depressingly masculine world, so I fail to see what the true bitch is about – unless you believe the patriarchy has done ANYTHING but destroy the world.
Happy belated Father’s Day to those who deserve it! Men have their strengths, but to complain about a world that your gender has not only owned, but destroyed for centuries is petty to say the least.
Wow! I really didn’t think anyone noticed.
This is definitely worth letting a guest post in after 6 years without one! Father’s Day is one of my favorite days because I don’t feel like dads always get the appreciation they deserve and I like that they get a special day too – not just the moms!!
Laurie
i dont even know my father
No, she probably has good clear things to say, and the grace to choose to honour Eric’s choice here of one subject matter. YOUR comments, on the other hand, is why Eric found himself in the position to have to write the post, because that kind of gleeful meanness is what remakes the problem he was writing to heal. Wise up mean idiot. You and the commenters below are clearly not on of the men that he is writing about who deserve, and receive every day our love, appreciation and care..
Well, all of this has always been what feminism is about, the damage to all that violence and silencing, and the meanness and forcing in the roles that are sorted out to both, with violence if not followed. Feminism, after it broke down the dorrs that had to be broken as all attempts to open them were met with cruelty and ignorance, became just that, real care for all people, true humanism, and awareness of the heavy costs, that Perry M is writing about here as well, of the contemporary sexism, violence in another disguise. There is no place for true love or respect anywhere in it, one of the major problems also of many religions responsable for much of it, who prone powerplays and violence over respect, peace and true space and place to love, the three brothers(J,C,M) being on the top of the list..
Eric, That was a wonderful piece by Perry Marshall. As a father of six and grandfather of thirteen I can relate. I can also relate to the hideous role a lot of society has relegated men to. I know that this attitude has hindered the natural development of boys and young men.
Thank you for this blog.
Charlie
Thanks Eric;
I echo your sentiments, you don’t have to look too far to see that in every areas of our society, there it is the lies that’s being sown. It is out right rebellion against God. It is the same lie that the devil used in the garden of Eden, “did God say”…We have been conditioned to agree with what seem right in the eyes of men and forget the word of God, it did say “there is a way that seems right to a man (human beings) but that the end there of is death. I believe just as the bible laid out God hierarchy is God, Christ, man woman and children. This is not to relegate women as lower beings but to fall in obedience with God’s order. Thank you for being bold to call out the push by society, to kick against the Truth as liad out in the bible which is the absolute word of God.